Compassion Fatigue Solutions

My son turns 8 today (which means that 8 years go I was doing something far less pleasant than eating an avocado/feta and green salad with balsamic vinegar for lunch which is what I just did.) So this morning when he woke up, with his crazy shaggy beach boy blonde hair standing up in all directions, we snuggled on the couch and looked at photos of his first few weeks on this earth. Moments like that are sweet and precious, and I hope that you too take time to savour little things in your daily life.

Another one: the magnolias are in full bloom here in Kingston. I had a chance to admire a huge "tulip tree" as my friend calls them, during my morning run.

And finally: making a little sand creation and learning to take time to chill out and enjoy the moment. I was so struck during our holiday last week by the fact that even my 10 year old daughter had to "decompress" before being able to just enjoy our time there. On day one she was relentlessly commanding us all to "let's go here, let's go there, ok now what next, I can't wait for this and that" until I said to her "you know, the whole point of being here is to just relax and not have an agenda. Our biggest plan each day is going to be figuring out what kind of ice cream we want ok?" and eventually, by day 3, she too was able to adopt a more relaxed attitude. Although I think some of this is in her personality, I think it also has to do with the pace of daily life during a normal school week (and she's not even attending one fifth of what all her friends seem to be doing - when did it become a good idea to enroll kids in two sports, music lessons AND swimming lessons? Anyhow, I've already blogged on that way back when but it still boggles my mind.)

I think Tim Ferriss (author of the 4 hour work week discussed below) said it so well in his book. He refers to the "occasional, keep it short or get fired vacations" that many of us take, and the either hectic weekends or numbed out weekends where many of us collapse in a heap in front of the tv before starting all over again.

I am working on a life/work balance workshop that will be offered in a couple of weeks to a group in London Ontario, so I have had the opportunity to reflect on the concept of the ideal schedule (even more than I normally do, and that topic is rather an obsession of mine. I know that for some, this topic of discussion can elicit defensiveness, anger, a "must be nice to be able to go on a trip for a week" or whatever other reaction it may generate. The answer is yes, it's wonderful and we should all aim to figure out ways to balance our life in a way that allows for more of that. But I for one have learned that when I feel irritated by someone else's neat self care strategy, I am usually not truly feeling irritation, I am feeling yearning. So for example right now as I am finishing this post, we are now Sunday, it is 23 degrees and sunny outside and I have been grumpily working all morning on various presentations I have to finish. I almost never work on Sundays so this is exceptional. So, I'm going to post this and @#$%! the work, I'm going to buy some rosemary and lavender to plant in my garden. Hope you do something equally nice with your Sunday.

Françoise