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Showing posts with label Self Care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Care. Show all posts

Friday, September 17, 2010

Life's Missing White Space by Leo Babauta

This is reprinted, with permission, from Leo Babauta's blog, ZenHabits, which I love to read:

I’m not a designer, but I’ve always been in love with the design concept of white space.

It’s the space in a design that isn’t filled with things — as you can tell from the design of Zen Habits and my other blog, mnmlist, it’s something I use (perhaps too) liberally.

But white space can be used in the design of our lives as well, not just the design of magazines and websites and ads. By using white space in our lives, we create space, balance, emphasis on what’s important, and a feeling of peace that we cannot achieve with a more cramped life.

Let’s look briefly at how to do this.

The principles of white space

Some of the things white space accomplishes in design:

  • greater legibility
  • feeling of luxury
  • breathing room & balance
  • more emphasis

These same concepts can translate to our lives:

  • Clarity. Instead of legibility, white space can give clarity to the things in our lives — whether they’re possessions, projects, tasks, or just things that occupy our time and attention. A nice piece of furniture is more beautiful when it’s not surrounded by clutter. A well-prepared piece of food is more tasty when it’s not smothered in sauces and piled with fries and cheese. A presentation is more effective when we don’t use Powerpoint and have only a few points to make.
  • Peace. When our lives are cramped, and our homes and workspaces are cluttered, we feel stressed. When we have fewer things on our schedule and fewer things around us, we feel peaceful.
  • Breathing room & balance. Many people talk about finding “work-life balance”, but this is very hard to do if you have no white space. Leave space between things to find the breathing room you need, and to easier achieve balance.
  • Emphasis on the important. When our days are non-stop busy, everything is important and nothing is important. But put white space between things, and those things acquire more weight, and we place more importance on each individual thing.

Achieving white space

In theory, achieving white space isn’t difficult: you remove non-essential items from your life, your workday, your surroundings, your possessions, and leave the essential items with space around them.

But of course in practice it’s a bit different, and requires experimentation, learning, practice. I’d suggest starting small, with one area of your life, and making small bits of white space. Start by identifying what’s important, and the slowly removing the non-essential things to create the white space.

Some ideas:

  • Breathe. Simply take a couple minutes between tasks, meetings, anything that you do, to breathe. After a meeting, for example, return to your desk and just sit still for a couple minutes, focusing on your breath going in and out. When you get home, pause and breathe. When you’re done with a task on the computer, close everything and breathe, before starting on the next task. This creates space between tasks and allows you to focus on each one.
  • Schedule. Don’t overschedule. Leave space on your schedule, between tasks, instead of putting things back-to-back. The space gives you time to go between tasks, to recover, to refocus, to breathe.
  • Projects. Do fewer projects at a time. Instead of juggling a bunch of projects at once, try to do one for as long as you can before switching to the next (sometimes you need to switch because you’re waiting on information or on someone else to do something). If you can, take a short break between each project — as long as you can afford.
  • Sit. Start your day with the white space of just sitting still for 10 minutes. It can be a meditation session, or simply sitting still with a cup of coffee or tea. If you like this, try putting it in the middle and end of your day as well.
  • Remove clutter. Pick a few important things on your desk, or in your home, and remove the rest. This will give you visual space and create a more peaceful atmosphere.
  • Savor. Slow down and savor everything you eat, everything you do. Breathe before you take each bite, and enjoy each bite.


Read more about simplicity in Leo’s books, The Zen Habits Handbook for Life & The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Moving out of the red zone of compassion fatigue: getting feeling back in our toes

Last week I was at the drugstore with my 10 year old son. I was paying for my things when an elderly man approached the counter. He appeared to be in his late eighties and had deep red bags under his eyes. He looked, in a word, absolutely terrible. With a shaking hand, he took a photo out of his pocket and showed it to us and to the women behind the cash. "This is my wife" he said "She died two days ago, we were married for 58 years. She was the love of my life. Now I can't sleep and the doctor wants me to take these pills" We all fell silent for a minute and then I had a little chat with him. He told me his children all lived out of town, and that he was completely alone. When I left the store with my son in tow, I felt regret that I did not do more. My head was already buzzing with all the community resources I know about, how to link him with the right ones, how we should have taken him out for tea, etc. I was dying to case manage this man into getting support right on the spot but I also had to go home and cook dinner and take care of my family.

This is the constant challenge we face as helpers. Pain and suffering is all around us, it's not just at work. Where do you draw the line? Do you take every elderly widower out for tea? Do you tell every person with a funny-looking mole to go get checked out? Do you rescue every kitty you see? So what we do is we try our best to figure out boundaries. Sometimes we over-correct and we become like Fort Knox, not letting a single person inside our walls. Sometimes we go too far in the other direction and become ambulance-chasers, rescuing every stray dog and baking for every little old lady on our street.

In my workshops, I am always advocating that we need to gain a better understanding of our own warning signs along the continuum of compassion fatigue. Using traffic lights as an analogy, the green zone is where you are when you are at your very best (I sometimes joke that you are only in the green zone when you've been in the field for two weeks or when you have just returned from a 5 month yoga retreat in Tahiti). The yellow zone is where most of us live most of the time. We have warning signs emerging but we often ignore them. The red zone is the danger zone. The extreme end of the red zone finds us on stress leave, clinically depressed or totally withdrawn from others and wracked with anxiety.

We will all visit the less extreme end of the red zone several times in our career - it is a normal consequence of doing a good job.

What suffers first is our emotional and physical health, our family and friends, our colleagues and eventually our clients do pay the price as we become less compassionate, irritable and may make clinical errors.

But back to my story. The reason I am telling you this little anecdote is that I would not have always had this warm compassionate reaction to this man. In fact, my reaction is actually a sign for me that I am well out of the red zone of compassion fatigue (for the time being!). You see, there have been times where I have felt so depleted by all my work demands and difficult stories that I would have hardened myself to this old man's story and not talked to him at all. Not nice, eh? Have you ever noticed that in yourself or am I the only hard crusty person out there? Conversely, for some of you, being in the red zone would mean you would have jumped into rescuing this man and neglected your family's needs for the evening.

Research shows that compassion fatigue hits hardest among those of us who are the most caring. As helpers, we have a homing device for need and pain in others and we have this from childhood onwards (for many reasons: family of origin issues, birth order, heredity, etc.) So often for helping professionals the main challenge in their personal life is setting limits and not being a helper/rescuer to everyone around. But eventually, compassion fatigue makes us detach from others: often our colleagues, family and friends suffer far before our clients and patients. Although I am not proud of it, I know that I always seem to save the best for work and give the remaining crumbs to my loved ones. In my clinical work, I feel present, warm and loving towards my clients, even the most challenging soldier who has never wanted to come to counselling and hates being there. But when I am in the red zone I avoid my neighbours, ducking into my house as quickly as possible to avoid a chat, feeling slightly guilty and irritated at the same time. I avoid the phone: "why is my lovely dad calling me to say hi? grrr"

Each of us will have different warning signs. The key to developing an early intervention plan is getting better acquainted with your own. (If you want more resources on this, consider reading my Compassion Fatigue Workbook).

The fact that I feel ready to give again is a great sign of "green zonedom." Now the trick is keeping it in check and not overcorrecting and becoming depleted again. Keeping the balance, my friends, is a lifetime's work. I'm ok with that.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Restorative practices - What do you do?


My 9 year old son: "this morning, at my sleepover at Z's house, I woke up at 6am, but I knew I had to let him sleep in, so I lay there until 740am when he woke up".
Me: "wow, that's a long time to lie there. What did you do with all that time?"
My son: "Oh, it was totally fine, I just thought about lots of stuff"
Me: "Oh yeah? Like what - What you are going to do when you grow up? Things that worry you? (ever the shrink...)
My son: "Nah, I thought about all the great moves I could do next time I play on my wii hockey game. Time just flew by!"
Ah, gender differences...

Yesterday, I had a chance to enjoy several peaceful hours doing two of my favourite things: cooking meals for the week while listening to CBC radio's Eleanor Wachtel (this time, I took in an interview Zadie Smith, the author of White Teeth and a very bright and reflective person. Thoroughly enjoyable). Wachtel is a truly gifted interviewer and it is always a treat to listen to her show. These two activities are very restorative practices for me - going into another person's universe for a while (in this case, the authors she interviews), chopping vegetables for the meals of the week and most importantly, doing all of this alone and in silence. For me, a perfect restorative day would start with making bread, I would then go for a long run, come home and make soup and then while the soup is cooking and the bread is baking, lie on the couch and read the entire Saturday newspaper from cover to cover. Ah..., I feel relaxed just thinking about it.

You notice that in my scenario there are no kids, no partner, no friends calling on me. That does not mean that I don't love them and cherish my time with them, but there are times when I need to be completely alone to recharge my batteries.

The work that we do requires us to be 'on' all the time, for our clients, our colleagues and the families we work with. In fact, some of us are so used to being 'on' that we have difficulty switching off and may spend the evening avoiding silence and solitude because we have lost the art of slowing down. Some helpers are never alone because they are so overcommitted in their personal and professional lives that others have access to them 24/7. Some other helpers are so fried that they have no energy left to talk and socialise with others on weekends and evenings - ever - and this can end up feeling lonely and depressing.

In addition, a lot of helpers tell me that they feel very guilty about wanting to spend some time on their own and have no idea where to begin.

My example above (cooking, podcast etc.) may not be your idea of a good time, so I would like to invite you to think about your own restorative practices. What do you enjoy doing to recharge and reconnect with yourself? How do you carve out the time among all your family and work responsibilities?

Photo from: www.flickr.com/photos/mharvey75/374461385

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Quick March Break post

I'm on March Break with my kids this week so I'll just write briefly.

I am happy to report that the 5/30 challenge has been a raging success with my kids. My daughter asked me for a bowl of grapes yesterday at the usual "cheese and cracker" time of the day and said to me "you know, I'm actually starting to actually like eating fruit mom!" music to my ears. We were skiing this weekend and my son got an apple at the snack shack along with his, ahem, poutine. Ok it's not perfect but it seems that it has injected an awareness that was not there before. Plus, I never actually promised them anything if they completed the challenge, I just said "here's what you're supposed to be doing, at a minimum, let's track it for a while ok?" and they were off to the races.

As we move into Spring, I suggest taking stock of your basic self care needs: healthy eating, getting enough sleep, having non-trauma related hobbies and leisure activities, exercising 30 minutes a day, having an activity that replenishes you, going on a media fast for a week, resting each day for a little while. How are you doing on these? If you're not sure where to start, I suggest going back through my blog archives and reading through to see if something strikes your fancy. I also suggest not going at it alone - enlist a friend with whom to share your self care goal, someone who will cheer you on and keep you accountable in a gentle way.

Finally, start small: make one self care goal for Spring and stick to just that one goal and don't beat yourself up about the rest.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Starting the year at warp speed. Not what I had planned...

I did not expect the new year to start with quite the bang it did in our house. The minute the kids went back to school, things quickly got busy on many fronts: at home, my children announced that they had long term projects that required nightly help from me (one involved building a diorama of the North American prairie bison’s habitat, to give you an idea…), my hubby decided that it was time to get organized and started clearing out and decluttering not one, but four areas of our house at the same time (“they are all interconnected, you see” he explained to me). The process was a little hairy: we were assembling storage cabinets at 9pm after having taken kids to hockey or soccer, helped them with homework (aka plasticine bison), cooked a (usually) nutritious meal and cleaned the dishes. Whew. My partner is a night owl and he starts hitting his stride at around 9:30pm, just as I am winding down…way down. For last two weeks, he has been bouncing out of his office just around that time, holding a piece of paper triumphantly in his hands: “I’ve got it! The perfect design for [fill in the blank] room.” He is wonderfully creative and I am delighted with the results, but the process made my head spin a bit. I had to bite my tongue and take an allen key and smile and get to work.

Being a morning person, I did take my revenge in the mornings, standing at the foot of the bed at 730am, asking him a million questions in a very perky voice, fully dressed and showered, having a) done an hour of work b) gone for a run c) taken the ikea boxes to the recycling depo and d) done the groceries. Even though we have been together for nearly 20 years, this diurnal/nocturnal mismatch in our relationship always catches me by surprise: “You want to discuss what? But it’s past 9pm, I have no opinion whatsoever about that. None. I am basically asleep. Yes, I know, I am walking around, but I’m not actually here, not at all.” My poor hubby.

Things started out rather quickly on the work front too. Right before going on vacation, I was offered a very interesting contract with a very tight timeline, and this is what I have been working on for most of the month so far. The contract involves carrying out a full organizational health assessment of a unit in a hospital. I have had the opportunity to interview many staff members, speaking to nurses, physicians and allied health professionals to find out what is challenging and rewarding about their work in the unit. Given that I am normally doing large group presentations, I don’t often get the chance to sit down to talk one on one with helpers and it was wonderful to have a chance to do this.

My training schedule is pretty full in the coming months. This week I will be offering three days of compassion fatigue training in Markham. This training is organized by Safeguards and will be offered again in London, Ontario in March 2010. These workshops are open to any helping professional wishing to register. Next week I will be in Ottawa and Cornwall, working with victim services and with corrections Canada.

And for those of you who are wondering (hi mom) how I am looking after myself with such a busy schedule, I am making sure to eat really healthy foods, run regularly, go to bed early, take naps, read books unrelated to work, watch movies, spend time with kids (laughing mostly) and go out for dinner with friends.

Soon, this busy first month of the year will end, and I will have a very organized home and enough leftover plasticine to make a full herd of bisons!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Signing off until the New Year


That's me, baking Christmas cookies...I realised a few years ago that I am a bit of a cookie tyrant around this time of the year as the cookies are gifts for the guitar teachers, caregiver etc. My family sometimes ask "can we have one little cookie?" and I glare at them and say: "maybe, once I've made all the gifts, you can have the broken ones." Nice, eh? Now I am aware that this is not a lovely trait of mine. So this year I'm going to make a second batch just for them...

I am taking a few weeks off with my family. I will post again in January (likely January 11th or thereabouts). Thank you for your readership this year. I wish you and your loved ones a peaceful and restful holiday season.

Françoise

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Book Review: The Resilient Clinician


by Robert J. Wicks, Oxford University Press

This short, reflective book was written specifically for clinicians: psychologists, mental health counsellors and social workers. It will be most useful to those with a background in clinical psychology who do face to face work with clients on a regular basis.

Dr Robert Wicks is a psychologist and a professor at Loyola College in Maryland. "A recognized expert in the prevention of secondary stress, in 1994 he was responsible for the psychological debriefing of relief workers evacuated from Rwanda during that country's bloody civil war." (from his book bio)

I was thrilled to see that Dr Wicks centers his approach on the use of positive psychology and mindfulness.

Robert Wicks explains his goal in writing the book as: "to introduce and highlight those areas that can help renew clinicians in today's challenging climate. It is amazing how little it can take to change the emotional tide in favor of such a beneficial move. Small alterations can sometimes jumpstart a positive step to a healthier attitude more than disputing dysfunctional thoughts ever can."

Chapters headings are:

Sensing the dangers: Chronic and acute secondary stress
Enhancing resiliency: strengthening one's own self-care protocol
Replenishing the self: Solitude, silence and mindfulness
Daily debriefing; Mindfulness and positive psychology

My conclusion: A lovely erudite book on self care for clinicians who are ready to reflect on their own journey of compassion fatigue and self care.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Why are the four basic self care strategies so hard to implement in our lives?


I recently asked an audience of about 100 people how many of them practiced or had ever tried relaxation training and/or meditation. Approximately 10 people raised their hands.

This is not an anomaly, it's the usual response I get. It's similar to the response I get when I ask groups how many of them would say that they:

1) Get enough sleep on a regular basis
2) Eat 3 healthy meals per day, with lots of fruit and vegetables, reducing caffeine, saturated fats and salt.
3) Exercise 3-4 times a week
4) Take breaks during the day to refuel and just chill out

Last time I asked this question, one person out of 150 said yes.

hmmm.

For those of you who are regular readers of this blog, you know that I feel very strongly about the importance of eating healthily for many reasons (cancer prevention, keeping diabetes at bay, increasing our immunity, weight control, the list goes on) but I am also very aware of the many obstacles we face: time crunch, financial constraints, food dislikes to name a few.

The exercise piece is tricky. A lot of people say to me "I'm not in good enough shape to go to the gym, I feel very self-conscious" and I totally respect that. A friend of mine (who went on to lose a significant amount of weight and run a marathon) could not walk around the block with me without having to stop to catch her breath. But she persevered, walked a bit faster each week, then started alternating running with walking (10 minutes of running, one minute of walking), an approach to running that is highly recommended by coaches at running clinics. It took a long time and a lot of hard work, but she started out small and eventually the results were life-changing.

Isn't that always the best way? To take small, realistic steps?

I invite you to reflect on the four categories above and see whether there is an area that you can celebrate. Is there something you are feeling particularly pleased with, in terms of self care? These can be very small steps (increasing my vegetable intake by one serving, taking 5 minutes off each day for the past week, etc.).

What would you commit to working on that is realistic and achievable for the week to come?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction: an Important Tool in Mitigating Compassion Fatigue in Helpers



Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is a holistic mind/body approach developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachussets Medical Center in 1979. MBSR is "[...] based on the central concept of mindfulness, defined as being fully present to one’s experience without judgment or resistance". (Cohen-Katz et al, 2005) The MBSR program recommends using meditation, yoga, relaxation training as well as strategies to incorporate these practices into every day life.

Research on the effectiveness of MBSR is highly conclusive: over 25 year of studies clearly demonstrate that MBSR is helpful in reducing emotional distress and managing severe physical pain. In fact, MBSR has been used successfully with patients suffering from chronic pain, depression, sleep disorders, cancer-related pain and high blood pressure. (Cohen-Katz et al, 2005) Based at Toronto's CAMH, Zindel Segal has developed a mindfulness-based cognitive therapy program for treating depression that has shown to be highly effective.

MBSR and Compassion Fatigue

Researchers recently turned their attention to the interaction between MBSR and compassion fatigue (CF), to see whether MBSR would help reduce CF symptoms among helpers. One study of clinical nurses found that MBSR helped significantly reduce symptoms of CF, as well as helping the subjects be calmer and more grounded during their rounds and interactions with patients and colleagues. (Cohen-Katz et al, 2005) Another study investigated the effects of teaching mindfulness-based stress reduction to graduate students in counseling psychology. The study found that participants in the MBSR program "reported significant declines in stress, negative affect, rumination, state and trait anxiety, and significant increases in positive affect and self-compassion." (Shapiro, 2007)

The Full MBSR Program

"The MBSR is taught as an 8-week program that meets approximately 2.5 hours a week and includes a 6-hour daylong retreat between the 6th and 7th weeks. Participants are asked to practice the mindfulness techniques 6 days a week as “homework” and given audiotapes to facilitate this. Group sessions include a combination of formal didactic instruction on topics such as communication skills, stress reactivity, and self-compassion and experiential exercises to help participants integrate these concepts. The program is described in detail in Kabat-Zinn’s textbook “Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Widsom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness.” (Cohen-Katz et al, 2005)

As you are reading this, you may be thinking: "I don't have time to take part in a 2.5 hour, 8 week program!" Nor do you have to - let's extract the main features of MBSR and see how you might integrate them in your own life routines.

Incorporating MBSR into Your Life

The key strategies of MBSR mirror the best compassion fatigue reduction techniques described in my book The Compassion Fatigue Workbook: developing self awareness, self-regulation (how to cope when events are overwhelming and/or stressful) and how to balance the competing demands in our lives. (Shapiro, 2007)

In the Shapiro study with counseling students, five mindfulness practices were taught, adapted from Kabat-Zinn's program:

1) Sitting meditation: This is the cornerstone of MBSR - To develop, over time, a sitting meditation that is done daily, if possible. It involves the "concentration of attention to the sensations of breathing, while remaining open to other sensory events, and to physical sensations, thoughts and emotions."

2) Body scan: A very effective exercise from the field of relaxation training and stress reduction. The full version of the body scan encourages you to focus on each part of your body one after the other, to identify where you are holding tension. This process is normally done lying down, in a quiet room. If time does not allow you to do the full scan, you can also carry out a modified version of the body scan:

Sitting in a quiet, peaceful room, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Notice what is happening in your body: Working your way down from the top of your head, notice how your jaw, neck and shoulders are feeling at this moment. Remember to keep breathing and, if your mind wanders, gently bring it back. If that is all the time you have, take three, slow deep breaths through your nose and gently open your eyes. If you have more time, work your way down your body, noticing how your shoulders, arms, stomach, calves and toes feel right now.

Where to find the full body scan exercise:

Web: Through Google, I was able to find several audio and scripted body scan exercises in a matter of seconds. Here is a free body scan exercise script and audio.

CD: Creating Inner Calm by Mark Berber (only available at Indigo/Chapters, not Amazon)

Books: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne (2000)

3) Hatha Yoga consists of "stretches and postures designed to enhance mindful awareness of the body and to balance and strengthen the musculoskeletal system." (Shapiro, 2007)

4) Guided loving-kindness meditation: A meditation practice which focuses on developing loving acceptance towards oneself and others. You can find examples of loving-kindness meditation on the web.

5) Informal practices: Exploring ways to bring mindfulness into our everyday life (while waiting in line at the grocery story, stuck in traffic, dealing with a challenging patient, etc.)

Want to know more? Where to start?

You can learn more about MBSR on your own or by taking a course or attending a workshop.

On your own

Audio Cds: Kabat-Zinn has produced a collection of mindfulness meditation CDs that can be purchased on his website and on amazon/indigo. Your local library may also have them. Kabat-Zinn's site also has a useful FAQ which describes the different CDs and guides you on which one to buy. He also has an informative blog and resources.

Reading:
Kabat-Zinn, J. (year) Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Widsom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1995) Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life.

Segal, Z. et al (2002) Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression.

Video:
If you can get your hands on it, a good introduction to MBSR is offered in Bill Moyers' 1993 PBS Special "Healing and the Mind" featuring Kabat-Zinn in the Stress Reduction Clinic.

Courses/Workshops
Many mid to large sized cities offer MBSR programs several times a year. Contact your local meditation/yoga centers to see if one is being offered in your community.

Final thoughts

If you are new to meditation practice, the most important thing to remember is that you cannot fail at meditation. There will be times where you can meditate with ease, and other times where your mind will be racing and you will have great difficulty focusing on being mindful. (You may also fall asleep). All of those are part of the process of mindfulness practice. Try not to judge your meditations. Simply try to refocus on your breath and on the meditation itself. It takes time and practice but it could literally save your life.


Sources:


Cohen-Katz, J., Wileys, S.D., Capuano, T., Bakers, D.M., Kimmel, S., & Shapiro, S. (2005). The effectis of mindfulness-based stress reduction on nurse stress and burnout, Part II: A quantitative and qualitative study. Holistic Nursing Practice, 19, 26-35.

Shapiro, S., Brown, K.W, & Biegel, G.M., (2007) Teaching self-care to caregivers: effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in trainining. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, Vol. 1, No. 2, 105-115.

photo from freedigitalphotos.net

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

September - A time for (achievable) resolutions?

Whether or not we have children returning to school, many of us make resolutions in September. They often have to do with our lifestyle: to eat more fruit and vegetables, to sign up for a class, to go to the gym more often, to make menus and plan for the week ahead, etc.

Some of these resolutions become incorporated in our lifestyle, and others quickly fall by the wayside because they were either unrealistic, too ambitious or we got caught up in the busyness of life again and ran out of time. (Or, the therapist in me would suggest, we have not yet done the necessary emotional prep work to make this change possible.)

Suggested Activity:
Before the Fall gets too hectic, I would like to invite you to take a few minutes today to take stock of one of the following areas of your life:

Physical health
Physical exercise
Clutter
Finances

There are many other good categories we could explore, but this will do for today.

Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen (or your laptop) and select the first category that jumps out at you. Write this category down at the top of your sheet. Now, write down whatever thoughts or words come to your mind in reaction to this category. For most of us, these initial jots will likely be negative or "shoulds" e.g.: Physical health - haven't been to doctor in three years, back is sore, worried about mole on back, etc.

Write as many items down as can fill a sheet. Now turn the sheet over and write down all the positives about that category - your strengths or things that you have improved on.

Once you have written as many things as you can, have a think about one micro-movement you could make towards improving that area of your life. Micro-movements are a concept put forth by SARK in her book Make your Creative Dreams Real. It can be as small as you want. Examples would be: "I will book a doctor's appointment by the end of the month", "I will eat one more fruit per day starting tomorrow", "I will clean out one drawer in my messy office on Friday".

Once you have this mini resolution, write it down in your daytimer, agenda or calendar. To make this resolution even more solid, ask a friend of yours to be your accountability buddy or, if you want, you can post your commitment on this blog (it can be anonymous) in the comments section.

I am quite pleased with my own Fall resolution: I decided to delegate lunch making in my home. My children now make their own lunches - I still make the sandwich and they do everything else. I'm not sure how I ended up winning the easiest job but they both seemed really pleased with themselves when I said "ok, I'll do the sandwich and you do the three peanut-free, garbage free snacks which includes having to rummage through the plastic container cupboard in a futile search for the corresponding lid. Ok?" So I have now gained a full thirty minutes each morning (yes, that is how long it was taking me, don't ask, I don't know why, but it was).

Have fun with the resolution and make it realistic and achievable.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Alimentation et cancer: une entrevue avec le Dr Béliveau - à écouter

As I wrote in a prior post on preventive medicine, Dr Béliveau has carried out a great deal of reseach on the link between cancer and the foods we eat.

Dr Béliveau is a biochemist who works as a research scientist at two Montreal Universities. He is an expert in cancer prevention and is also a gifted communicator who aims to bring his lab findings to our dinner tables. He has written three books on cancer prevention and nutrition: Foods to Fight Cancer, Cooking with Foods that Fight Cancer and his most recently released Eating Well, Living Well: Everyday Preventive Medicine which will be available in English in the Fall of 2009.

He was interviewed by Yannick Villedieu on Radio Canada in February 2009. I had the opportunity to hear it rebroadcast last Sunday. If you speak French, I recommend you follow the links to hear this highly informative interview.

If you don't speak French and you missed my original post, I invite you to return to read it. You will find the same take-home message in the post.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Summer Hiatus for blog and how to stay informed


(free photo from Pediant, wikicommons)

I am going to be posting off and on this summer. I will not be posting every Sunday as I have been doing for the past year and a half but rather going to "summer hours". To receive information about new posts, I invite you to subscribe (see left column of the blog). You will then receive an email notification once I post again.

I am spending most of July working half time. I am able to do this thanks to an "x over y" plan that teachers are familiar with: you save part of your monthly salary each month in order to be able to take time off later. Being self employed offers no benefits, no unemployment insurance and no job security whatsoever, but it does offer the flexibility of being able to work or not work as you decide.

So I am spending the month dealing with home improvement projects that have been lingering for years (that darned basement..., the leaky taps, the paint jobs that have been waiting, many trips to the local charity dropoff and Habitat for Humanity to get rid of all the clutter that we have accumulated, god knows how.)

I am also simply taking time to enjoy the all too brief summer we have in this part of the world. One of the things I most enjoy is to bike down to the shores of lake Ontario and go watch the windsurfers on Richardson beach. This is nearly olympic-level surfing - a very wild patch of the lake, and I love watching them fly in the air and flip themselves around. I like to pretend to myself that I too, have the upper body strength and the skill to be there with them (I don't doubt my abilities to do other things, such as run a half marathon, but I seriously doubt my capacity to windsurf on this crazy lake! But it's fun to dream...)

I hope you have some time to breathe this month, and are able to carve out a bit of time for you.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Try this at home: The Five Key Elements of a Self Care Retreat


(Photo: Late June in Umea, Sweden)

I have just finished a busy past two weeks. I offered a full day training in Toronto, a shorter presentation at a PTSD conference and at a conference for community social services and finally the two day Compassion Fatigue Train the Trainer. I also had the opportunity to hear Babette Rothschild present grounding techniques from her very useful book "Help for the Helper". I have also been processing orders for the new Compassion Fatigue Workbook which I am very happy to now have available for helpers who are looking for more resources to work through CF strategies on their own or as a team.

Now, thankfully, there is a bit of time to process and digest it all, (and weed the garden a bit.)

I had a widely varied group of participants at the train the trainer workshop: veterinarians, managers from homeless and women's shelters, hospital social workers, addictions counsellors, to name a few. In our discussions, we discovered that the challenges we face are far more similar than they are different - whether you are working with pet owners or with humanoid patients, there is a strong human factor in the work: people are grieving, people are angry (often at us, for a flawed system, for a lack of resources, maybe for errors we make or errors they perceive we made). Dealing with loss, grief and anger takes its toll on us, and so does having to turn people away when we simply do not have the resources to help them.

Having a two day retreat with a small group of helping professionals is a rare opportunity to talk and reflect (in a very lovely environment - the centre where I hold these workshops is beautiful) and that alone is worth its weight in gold, in giving us all the opportunity to replenish ourselves.

I think that we need to look at small ways to create retreats for ourselves even if we do not have the time or money to go to a train the trainer workshop or an actual retreat. Here are some suggested steps:

A Retreat plan for yourself

1) Get your daytimer and book a day off (two is even better). Make sure that the entire day is free. If you have more financial resources, consider booking yourself into a local B&B and make this retreat an overnight event. You can also buddy up and plan the retreat with a colleague or two, but make sure they are committed to making this a replenishing experience and not talk shop.

2) Plan your day, making sure that you will include three key components: Stress Reduction, Relaxation and Resilience. What does this mean?

(The following text is excerpted from The Compassion Fatigue Workbook. If you would like to receive an excerpt of the book, please send me an email: whp at cogeco.ca or visit my website and click on Resources and Links.)

Eric Gentry, compassion fatigue scholar and co-developer of the Accelerated Recovery Program (ARP) for helpers with compassion fatigue, wrote a powerful article in 2002 called The Crucible of Transformation. I highly recommend that you read it. To obtain a pdf of the article, simply Google: Gentry crucible of transformation and then download the article from his website: www.compassionunlimited.com. (Make sure you do not download the one from the website Gift from Within as it is incomplete. For some reason, visiting his website directly does not work but googling does.)

In this article, Gentry offers two important principles that are critical to remaining healthy in the face of the challenges of our work:

“These two important principles, which have become the underlying goals for our work in the area of compassion fatigue, are: (1) the development and maintenance of intentionality, through a non-anxious presence, in both personal and professional spheres of life, and (2) the development and maintenance of self-validation, especially self-validated caregiving. We have found, in our own practices and with the caregivers that we have treated, that when these principles are followed not only do negative symptoms diminish, but also quality of life is significantly enhanced and refreshed as new perspectives and horizons begin to open.” (Gentry, 2002)

Let us highlight the two key concepts from that paragraph:

“(1) the development and maintenance of intentionality, through a non-anxious presence, in both personal and professional spheres of life, and

(2) the development and maintenance of self-validation, especially self-validated
caregiving.”

What does this mean exactly?

A non-anxious presence refers to the ability of being in the room with the client’s pain and suffering and being able to express empathy and compassion without taking on the other person’s suffering. In both the personal and the professional realm, it is about mindfulness, the ability to notice and control your physical symptoms of stress and anxiety, and your breathing. It is a concept that is explored in depth by Babette Rothschild, author of Help for the Helper: the psychophysiology of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma (2006).

“Self-validated caregiving” refers to self-care that is guilt-free, self-care that is prioritised as a means of remaining healthy in this line of work.

So, reflect on this for yourself:

What stress relief strategies do you enjoy? Examples of stress relief are taking a bath, sleeping well or going for a massage.

What stress reduction strategies work for you? Stress reduction means cutting back on things in our lives that are stressful (switching to part time work, changing jobs, rejigging your caseload, etc.)

What stress resiliency strategies can you use? Resiliency strategies are relaxation methods that we develop and practice regularly, such as meditation, yoga or breathing exercises.

Ok, now let's return to our Retreat plan:

Step one (a discussed above): Carve out some protected time for yourself, either on your own or with a good friend/colleague.

Step two: Make sure that your day has the five following elements:

1- Plenty of unstructured time to rest, nap, read (something unrelated to work), sit, swing in a hammock, lie on your bed...

2- A physical component: sign up for a fitness class, go swimming, stretch, run, go for a long walk around your neighbourhood or if you need a change of scenery, take public transit or drive to a completely different part of your community. If you can afford it, book a massage for your retreat day.

3- A relaxation component: Consider downloading a relaxation tape from itunes, or purchase a relaxation cd from your local bookstore (I recommend Mark Berber's Creating Inner Calm, which is available at Chapters/Indigo) and trying out one or two relaxation or deep breathing activities.

4 -A stress resiliency activity: Consider taking a yoga class or trying out a brief meditation tape from itunes.

5-During this day, eat healthy, simple food, try to avoid caffeine and any other stimulants. If not drinking caffeine is a problem for you in terms of withdrawal, try and have just one cup in the morning and reduce the rest of your day's caffeine intake.

What may happen during this day: You may feel wonderful at the end of your mini retreat, or you may find that it was a very dificult day for you. This is important information. First of all, slowing down and letting go of our daily concerns takes time and practice. Secondly, working in this field, and having to live with compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma within us, sometimes stopping and slowing down means that we are letting our guard down. This guardedness is actually something we use as a protection mechanism during our daily working lives. So you may find that your day off is filled with images, thoughts about work or about certain clients etc..

If you find that this is very strong, and difficult to deal wtih, I strongly recommend that you consider seeking the support of a trained counsellor or psychotherapist who understands compassion fatigue.

You may also find that you need to practice being in a retreat mode and that it takes a few times to get it right. I recall the first time I ever tried mindfulness meditation was at an all day mindfulness retreat (no half measures for this gal...) and it was a very uncomfortable day for me. I felt twitchy, bored, restless and eager for the day to end. As we were walking out of the retreat day, my colleague who had come with me looked totally relaxed and blissed out. I said "so, how was it for you?" She replied "oh, wonderful, refreshing, so relaxing. I feel fabulous." I was lucky enough to experience the replenishing qualities of mindfulness meditation a few years later, but I learned that meditation takes practice and a lot of kindness towards ourselves: we can't necessarily speed our way through it.

Your retreat will be whatever it is - easy, hard, challenging, replenishing - set the bar low. The main step is to actually carve out time away from work and other family and life commitments. From there on, it's all gravy.

Let me know how it goes.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

75 Self Care Strategies from the Leading Edge Seminar June 1st, 2009

Here is, as promised, the list of the 75 self care strategies workshop participants came up with during the June 1st presentation of Walking the Walkin Toronto. I invite you to read through them and see whether you could make a commit to following through on three of the strategies in the coming month?

1. Try a new delicious sounding recipe
2. Hire a housekeeper
3. Leave the office at least 3 times per week at lunchtime
4. Get out of the city and reconnect with nature
5. Sit by the ocean/lake/water
6. Bike riding
7. Watch an emotional movie
8. Lose the fear of digital photography
9. Read more novels
10. Learn 1 new piece of music
11. Take your lunch to work
12. Take a walk at lunch
13. De-clutter at work
14. Be more respectful of work hours
15. Stop procrastinating with paperwork/admin
16. Develop and value transition ritual from work to home
17. Do something physical
18. Pack a lovely lunch once a week
19. Sit in a park once a week, walk in the woods and look at the trees
20. Outsource your least favourite household task or delegate to partner (eg cleaning the house, gardening, vacuuming the car)
21. Go out and have fun once a week
22. Explore community options (eg free yoga class at centre, AGO free on weds nights)
23. Arrange for regular peer consultation
24. Have lunch once a week with colleague
25. Have lunch once a week with a person in another field
26. Find a poem and share it with someone
27. Try a new restaurant/cuisine
28. Try something new: a language, music, hobby, skill, sport
29. Have a "media fast" for a week including cell phone if possible
30. Get outside into nature
31. Go out for ice cream in the middle of the day
32. Take a course that is not work-related
33. Tour of museum/gallery (i.e. learn from another expert)
34. Carve out 3 hours per week without a plan
35. Close your office door for 30 minutes per day
36. Step outside every day for 15 minutes
37. Exercise for 30 minutes per day
38. Listen to or play music for 20 minutes per day
39. Enjoy/pay attention when eating (don't multi task)
40. Take 15 minutes per day for quiet reflection
41. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier at night
42. Take breaks during work: walk, stretch, balance fluids, have a protein snack midmorning and midafternoon
43. Debrief with colleagues
44. Adapt schedule ie: don't schedule challenging clients back to back
45. Create a calming environment at work: plant, music
46. Create a nurturing environment at home: orderly, tidy
47. Break down dreaded tasks
48. Hire experts to get some of your chores done
49. Cook extra for lunches
50. Baths
51. Spend more time with partner/spouse
52. Once a month, clean your car inside and out
53. Buy yourself flowers regularly
54. Schedule 1 day per month off work for yourself
55. Get a massage
56. Organise your desk at work
57. Schedule a self-nurturing activity every two weeks (e.g. spa, nice meal, movies, etc.)
58. Sleep in
59. Drink water
60. Read something fun (not professional and not news)
61. Declutter your home and/or office
62. Take walks
63. Annual time off to prioritise and plan year
64. Be mindful
65. Get supervision
66. Get trainings by theme
67. Plan social get-togethers
68. Do something you've never done
69. Set limits, say no and don't backtrack
70. Spend quality time with loved ones
71. Have fun on a regular basis
72. Develop a hobby unrelated to work
73. Read fiction
74. Hang out with positive people
75. Plan menus in advance

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Guest Post: Flying by the seat of your pants by Jack Henderson


My dad earned his pilot’s licence before the start of World War 2 and, when I was a kid, he would often tell me stories about his flying days. When he enlisted he became an instructor and spent thousands of hours in the back seat of a Harvard aircraft “teaching young hopefuls to fly”.

After a student learned the basics of safe flying, it was necessary for them to know where the dangers were highest… how to recognize a potential problem and how to correct for it before it was too late.

Night flying meant learning to fly with instruments, not their eyes, and not just relying on their own sense of well-being. This is the core of the message that he taught me which would surface many years later when I became his caregiver during his journey through dementia. “Flying by the seat of your pants” became a wonderful metaphor - an image of how I needed to care for myself in order to continue to give quality care to him.

The lesson that I remember from him was that flying an airplane by instruments is very different from flying by our human senses. When we can see clearly, our eyes and our inner ear, which measures our sense of balance, reinforce and correct each other to ensure that we maintain proper orientation to the world around us. We can control ourselves by our senses or as the pilots say “Fly by the seat of our pants”. The pilot knows the sensation of what a safely operating airplane feels like.

At night there’s an additional challenge. The pilot’s eyes don’t give reliable information so the pilot is left with their sense of balance. Our amazing human bodies have limits of what can be detected. Although sudden or large changes are easy to recognize, one of our body’s weaknesses is identifying very gradual change. A pilot who tries to fly by the seat of his or her pants at night can’t detect if the airplane is very slowly going into a spin or a dive. Their body’s motion detector in their inner ear can’t be reoriented because their eyes can’t see in the dark. Their body might tell them “You’re level, you’re OK” but they are not…. dangerously not OK. Only the instruments can give them the feedback that tells them “Your feelings, your sensations, are getting confused. The instruments are correct. Make changes now for your safety and the safety of those with you.”

So what’s “Flying by the Seat of your Pants” got to do with being a caregiver for someone living with dementia? Caregiving means taking on additional challenges. Although we can see the changes in the person living with dementia for whom we are caring… the good days, the bad days, the losses in their capabilities… what we miss are the changes in ourselves, the constantly increasing changes in the demands on us as caregivers. It sneaks up on us. “I’m OK. I’m handling this fine” is such a common reaction… and usually it’s not true. Like the pilots, our bodies don’t detect those little changes that accumulate and our bodies and minds are not good at telling us that we’re not taking good enough care of ourselves… that we’re actually headed into a fatal dive. We tell ourselves that we’re doing fine when in reality we should be asking others for help.

So what’s the key to safety of the caregiver? How do we observe the necessary warnings so that we can ensure that we don’t do damage to ourselves by “Caregiving by the seat of our pants”? The answer is our “Instruments”. What are those external measurements telling us that we need to pay attention… information that doesn’t agree with how we feel but will help us change from a dangerous spin? There are many. Our friends telling us that “You’re looking tired” or “We’ve missed you” or “I’m concerned about your level of stress” are messages that we need to heed. Checklists for measuring Caregiver Burnout are another. The Alzheimer Society, the Victorian Order of Nurses, and several other groups have them. But don’t just measure yourself alone. Have a friend who understands the demands of dementia, knows you and will be honest with you, help you through the checklist. Listen to their opinions about how they think you are doing. If you become a damaged caregiver, then your setbacks limit the quality of care that you are able to give. Taking care of yourself means taking better care of the one living with dementia.

And if you catch yourself saying “No, really, I’m doing fine”, then you’re probably flying by the seat of your pants. It’s a good time to believe your instruments, change how you are taking care of your own needs, and stop your undetected fatal dive.

Jack Henderson, a former caregiver.
Been there… done that. And I also needed several family and friends to tell me “Listen Jack, you’re NOT doing OK. We know the signs. You’re headed for burnout. Take better care of yourself.”

©Jack Henderson, 2009 Feb 26

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Preventive Medicine and Healthy eating: Things we know...but are they things we do?


Photo by Sakurai Midori - Autumn Fruit and Vegetables Japan from wikimedia commons

On the lovely topic of food:

One of my very first memories is watching my Inuit babysitter roll and fry her daily bannock when I was 2 or 3 years old. I can still conjure up the smell and taste of that hot bread now. Fresh deep fried bannock tastes like nothing else you'll ever try, it's just one of those things. You likely have foods like that too from somewhere in your past?

I have always been passionate about food. I'm not sure why, though I recall that when I was young my mother and my aunt used to love planning meals together, poring over recipes and trying new and unusual things. I remember one hilarious day when my mom and I bought one of each of the new tropical fruit that had just arrived in the grocery stores. This was in the early 1980s and we had never seen these strange things before nor did we know how to tell whether they were ripe (they weren't - we ended up feeling like we had fur growing on our tongues and racing for water but laughing our heads off.)

My mother was also always a strong believer in healthy eating and tried to the best of her ability to offer us fresh produce. I am not sure how she managed that during the years that we lived in a place where the ship came only once or twice a year with our groceries but she soldiered on: she made home made yogurt, sprouted beans, granola...

Anyhow, this rather lengthy introduction is to talk about a fascinating radio show I heard on Thursday. If you speak French, you can skip the rest of this post and simply go to www.radio-canada.ca/radio/christiane and look for Christiane Charette's January 29th interview with Dr Richard Béliveau.

Dr Béliveau is a biochemist who works as a research scientist at two Montreal Universities. He is an expert in cancer prevention and is also a gifted communicator who aims to bring his lab findings to our dinner tables.
He has written three books on cancer prevention and nutrition:
Foods to Fight Cancer, Cooking with Foods that Fight Cancer and his most recently released Eating Well, Living Well: Everyday Preventive Medicine which will be available in English in the Fall of 2009. He also writes a weekly column in the Journal de Montréal which you can read online:

Here are some findings:

-Reaching your healthy weight reduces your chance of developing diabetes by 90%
-26% of Canadian children and teens are overweight
-Excess abdominal fat is linked to certain types of cancers (the rates are staggering: 75% of colon cancers are nutrition related).

Dr Béliveau recommends five key strategies to improve your health and reduce the risk of cancer

1) Quit smoking
2) Exercise at least 30 minutes per day
3) Aim to reach and keep your healthy weight
4) Eat a large amount of fruit and vegetables each day
5) Eliminate junk food

Key foods to add to your diet:

-Any vegetable from the cabbage family: broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage...
-Garlic and onions
-Soy products (soybeans, tofu)
-Turmeric (1 tsp per day)
-Green Tea
-Berries
-Omega 3 fatty foods (salmon, walnuts, flax seeds)
-Tomatoes
-Citrus fruit
-1 glass of red wine per day
-Two squares of 70% dark chocolate per day

Of course you know all that already, right? But are you walking the walk?

My children were thrilled when I announced that from now on, desert would have to be chocolate!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Making sushi with children



There are times that are simple yet very precious moments in our lives. I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so task-oriented and "completion-focused" (sadly, strong features of the enneagram 3 for those of you who know about the enneag.) that I lose my sense of humour and fun. This is something that I know about myself and try to keep at bay. Enter children - they are the best people in the world to force you out of your task-oriented focus (as right now, I am writing this but I can hear little feet coming down the stairs, back later).

Ok, I am back. On Sunday, my kids and I decided to make sushi for the first time. Now these are not works of art, I will grant you, but it led to a wonderful conversation about food, culinary traditions and eating with one's hands, something my 8 year old son is very keen to do again - "but you do it every day sweetie" I said, given that using cutlery is an ongoing battle with him at the best of times. So now for the next few Sundays, we are going to explore "foods that are eaten with our hands" from various countries of the world. I am thinking of Ethiopian next week, if I can find Tef flour to make the large, spongy breads that are used as plates and spoon.

I have several exciting announcements coming up later on today or Wednesday, come back and read some more when you have a chance.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Essential Time-Saving Guide for Busy People

Written by Leo Babauta, author of the Zen Habits Blog - Reprinted from www.zenhabits.net with permission

Your lives are always busy, I’m sure, but the holidays always seem to add even more craziness to everyone’s schedule. Christmas parties with family, friends and co-workers, gift shopping, decorating, Christmas pageants, caroling, bell-ringing, snow shoveling (unless you live on Guam like I do), making cookies, baking turkeys, and all the rest.
It’s enough to make you want to give up!

But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. If you’re a busy person (and who isn’t these days?), I’ve compiled some of my favorite time-saving tips — things I use in my daily life that I’ve found to work wonders for freeing up the schedule.

Why use these tips? First, to keep yourself sane during busy times — we all tend to stress out when schedules are packed. But second, and just as importantly, to make time for what you think is most important. For me, that’s my family, my writing, and exercise. You might have other things you want to make time for. Here’s how to do it.

Tips for Work

Most of us spend the most time at work, so let’s start there. If you have a to-do list that’s a mile long — or worse yet, no to-do list at all — here’s what you can do:

1. Do less. This is my favorite productivity tip, as long-time readers know — simplify your schedule by doing fewer things but focusing on the important things. This will greatly increase the impact of the time you do work, decreasing the time you need to work. What about the tasks you don’t do? See the tips below for more on dealing with them.

2. Delegate. If a task needs to be done but is not one of your most important tasks, and it can be done by someone else, delegate it. Sometimes you can get rid of half your to-do list by finding others who can do the task as well or even better than you can.

3. Limit your workday (or adjust your hours). If you work more than 8 hours a day, by setting a limit of 8 hours you’ll force yourself to focus on getting the must-do tasks done within that limit. If you work 8 hours a day, try limiting yourself to 6 hours. You’ll find that you’ll prioritize, work more efficiently, and waste less time, so that you can get the work done within that time frame. I try to give myself a 4- or 5-hour window on most days. What if you can’t reduce your hours (maybe you’re required to work a certain number of hours)? See if you can shift your work hours either earlier or later than the rest of the crowd. That’ll reduce commute time if you don’t commute during the busy traffic hours, and if you work when almost no one else is in the office you can get tons more done.

4. Get the important stuff done early. Pick the top 2-3 things you need or want to accomplish today, and get those done first. While on other days you might push these important things back (and possibly not get them done at all), if you do them first the rest of your day will be gravy. In fact, if you have the freedom, you can sometimes even call it a day after you get the important stuff done — the rest can wait until tomorrow.

5. Ask your boss to re-prioritize for you. If you don’t have control over your schedule or to-do list, talk to your boss. Tell him you are trying to be more effective with your time, and you only have time for X number of things today (say, 3-4 things) … so ask him to pick those things for you. Tell him if you try to do everything today you’ll be less effective and may not get as many things done or do as good a job. This prioritizing is essentially what you’d do yourself (see the first tip) if you had the freedom.

6. Batch tasks. Instead of interspersing your work day with small tasks all mixed together, try to group similar tasks and do them at once. For example, instead of responding to emails throughout the day, batch them and do all your emails once (or twice) a day. Do all your paperwork at once. Make all phone calls in one batch. Do all errands at once. This grouping of tasks saves a lot of time and allows you to focus better on the important tasks.

7. Focus on one project and get it done. Instead of juggling a large number of projects, set aside a block of time to do one project until completion. For me, this often means setting aside half a day or a day (I try to break my projects down into manageable chunks) to work on a project, and I try to complete it if at all possible. Often this means getting all the resources and information you need beforehand, so you don’t have to look for it or wait on it when you’re ready to actually work on the project. This also means clearing my schedule, so I’ll get other tasks done beforehand and I won’t schedule anything else for that block of time. Then work on that project exclusively and try very hard to get it done. This, I’ve found, is often the most effective way to work on projects.

8. Avoid meetings. Not all meetings are a waste of time, but many are. If you spend a lot of time in meetings, but would rather be doing your actual work instead of listening to other people talk about things they could have sent you in an email, see if you can get out of some of those meetings. You’ll get a lot more done. Read more.

9. Avoid long conversations at work. We’ve all had long conversations with co-workers that were very unproductive — often not related to work or anything important. Sometimes they’re long phone conversations. And while I like conversing with other human beings as much as the next guy — it’s important to maintain good relationships and friendships — at the same time you could be spending that time doing other things. I personally would rather get all my work done and go home and spend time with my family. So I try to stay focused on work rather than having lots of long conversations, although I’ll make an exception now and then.

10. Learn to say no. This is crucial if you want to have a simplified schedule. We all receive numerous requests each day, and all of them are demands on our time. If we say “yes” to those requests, we are giving up our time and committing to doing something for someone else. But if those requests aren’t in line with our priorities, then we are usually biting off more than we want to chew. So learn to say “no” instead. Often this is uncomfortable, because we fear it means disappointing others. But learn to tell people that you just don’t have the time to commit to this right now, and often they’ll understand.

Time-saving Computer Tips

1. Disconnect when possible. This is my favorite computer tip. When I really want to focus on a task, and really get it done, I will disconnect from the Internet. Sometimes this means just closing my browser, other times it will mean disconnecting from my wireless network, and still other times I unplug the cord. However you do it, disconnecting from the Internet is a great way to get things done. Of course, you’ll eventually want to re-connect, but having blocks of time when you’re disconnected can be extremely productive.

2. Quicksilver or AutoHotkey. Quicksilver for Mac users, Autohotkey for PCs. I’ve used both an find them to be indispensable tools for getting things done efficiently. For example, we all have documents, programs, folders and websites we go to frequently — set up a hotkey to open them with a keystroke. It takes a little learning to figure out how to set these up (but you can Google tutorials), and to set up each hotkey might take a couple minutes. But once they’re set up, you’re lightning fast. You can go beyond these hotkeys for more powerful combinations, such as a hotkey to email something or resize a photo or do a thousand other things — I have probably a dozen or so I use regularly that save me hours when you add them all up over the course of a month.

3. Keyboard shortcuts for email. Similarly, your email program almost certainly has keyboard shortcuts, and if you’re not using them you should learn them. By using shortcuts for opening, sending, filing, searching and navigating through emails, you can work through a batch of emails in no time. And if you add shortcuts (via Quicksilver or AutoHotkey) for commonly used text or signatures, you can zip through your replies faster than I can go through a batch of Oreos.

4. Email filters. Let your email program do your work for you. I use Gmail filters, but programs such as Outlook or Mail.app, or what have you, all have similar filtering features. Learn to use them and set up filters for your most common emails. This will usually happen over time as you notice that you’re getting a lot of a certain type of email. For example, I get certain stats and financial reports relating to my work that I have labeled and filed by a filter, so that they never see the light of my inbox. Then I can always go and look in that label (or folder) to read those reports if I need to, but don’t need to read them when I go through my inbox. I also use filters to automatically delete emails from people who send me chain and joke emails (harsh, I know, but I get tired of those), and to file notifications from services like Facebook, Twitter, Paypal and other services.

5. Limit IM, Twitter, forums, other social stuff. You can spend all day chatting with others, or Twittering or going on online forums or social media. And while all of these tools have good uses, they can take up too much of your time if you let them. Set limits for yourself — say one hour a day to do all of these things, at a certain block of time in your schedule. You’ll have lots more time for the important tasks.

6. Stop worrying about filing. I’ve written about this before, of course, but I don’t really believe in filing anymore. Everything I do is digital these days, both online and on my computer’s hard drive. And I learned from Gmail that you can just archive something and search for it later without any problems (I’ve been doing this for two years with no problems finding things at all). So I do this with everything: files on my hard drive, documents in Google Docs and Spreadsheets, other types of online files. And my filing time has been reduced to almost zero — while I used to spend lots of time filing each day.

Tips for Home

1. Keep things clutter-free. I’m a big fan of clutter-free homes and workspaces, not only for their nicer aesthetics but because 1) it helps you to focus on what you’re doing instead of being distracted by visual clutter; 2) it’s more serene and relaxing; and 3) it saves time. How does it save time? It makes things easier to find, easier to clean, easier to navigate, and reduces wasted time reshuffling, sorting, looking through, and clearing away piles of clutter. Read more.

2. Keep things in their place. Similarly, having a “home” for everything saves time. You can have an uncluttered home but not know where anything belongs … instead, have a place for everything, and put things back in that place when you’re not using them. Make this a key habit in your life — when you’re done with something, put it back where it belongs. It takes a few seconds to do that, and saves time cleaning up later, looking for things (how many times have you lost something and searched long and hard for it?), and generally keeps things neater and uncluttered.

3. Teach kids to clean up after themselves. If you’re a parent, you know that keeping an uncluttered household isn’t easy when you have little rugrats running around making a mess every minute of the live-long day. Start your kids, from an early age, with the habit of cleaning up after themselves when they’re done playing. So let’s say they take out a bucket of building blocks and make a huge mess — that’s OK, but when they’re done, help them to pick everything up, put them in the bucket, and put the bucket back in its “home”. My younger kids like to sing a “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere” song as they clean. Make it a game! With six kids, this has saved us countless hours of cleaning up after our kids.

4. Prep the night before. Whether you’re single or have a household full of kids, mornings might be a rush for you. Instead, create an evening routine where you get everything ready the night before, so you can start your day off right. This might not technically save time, but it gives you more time in the morning to focus on getting important things done rather than rushing through your routine.

5. Don’t watch too much TV. I personally have wasted entire days watching TV, so I know what a big time-hole television can be. Instead, limit your TV viewing time — maybe an hour a day? — and use the time you otherwise would have been watching TV on more important things — spending time with your loved ones, exercising, writing that novel you’ve been dreaming about.

6. Plan your weekly menu. If you plan out what you’re going to have for dinner (and even lunch) each day of the week, you can save a lot of time. First, you can go grocery shopping and get everything you need all at once — in fact, if you repeat the weekly menu the next week, you can do two weeks of shopping in one trip. Second, you can prepare food ahead of time (see next item), and pack your lunch easily for work. Third, you don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner each evening — it’s right there on the menu you posted on the fridge.

7. Cook big batches. I like to make large batches of food, which is especially helpful when you have a big family. I’ll cook up a big batch of chili, veggie soup, spaghetti, or other dish, and eat the leftovers for lunch or dinner (sometimes it can be several lunches and dinners).

8. Do all your errands at once. This is the same as the “batching” tip from the work section above (as is the previous tip, and the next tip). Write your errands on an errands list throughout the week, and do them all on one day. Plan your route so you do the least amount of driving possible, and get it all done quickly. Compared to running multiple errand trips, this method saves a lot of time.

9. Do your banking online, all at once. I like to do this once every week or even two weeks … I have all my bills ready to pay (actually, most of them are set up to be paid automatically by my bank’s bill-pay system), I reconcile my online bank statement, pay the bills, check my automatic savings transfers and so on.

10. Clean in one big rush. While I like to keep things clean by cleaning as I go, there’s also the sweeping and mopping and cleaning the bathrooms and things like that … and it’s a big time-saver to do it all in one big rush. My whole family will take different parts of the house, and we’ll do the cleaning all at once as fast as we can. We’re done in 30-45 minutes, and we can relax the rest of the day. Ahhh!

11. Get your workouts done in no time. If you don’t have a lot of time but want to stay (or get) in shape, try bodyweight exercises in circuits, but make the workout more intense by trying to do as many circuits as you can in a short amount of time. For example, do circuits of pullups, pushups, and bodyweight squats (5, 10, and 15 respectively) … and do as many as possible in 10 minutes (or 20 if you’re fit). Create your own circuits with different exercises, or look for similar challenges online to mix things up. Don’t do these intense exercises if you’re just starting out — just try to do a few circuits but not quickly if you’re still a beginner.

12. Keep a great big calendar. My family stays organized with a big calendar on our fridge (which I also manually sync with Gcal because I like Gcal). Everything goes on our calendar: parties, meetings, school events, soccer games, music lessons, birthdays, volunteering dates, and so on. This ensures that we don’t overschedule, that we’re all in sync with each other, and that we don’t miss appointments or events. And one big calendar saves time because we don’t have to keep checking with each other or looking at various schedules.

13. Get a babysitter or swap babysitting. If you are a parent and don’t have time to do things, hire a babysitter so you can find the time, or swap babysitting with another parent. My sister and I do this, for example — we’ll watch her kids some days and she’ll watch ours on others. It’s great because we have more time to do things, and our kids get to play together.

14. Consider hiring someone. Sometimes it makes more sense to hire someone to do something, especially if your time is worth more money than you’re paying that person. For example, if I have a large yard that would take me five hours to maintain (it’s pretty big), it makes more sense for me to pay someone as I can earn more during those 5 hours by working. Other things you might pay someone for: other home maintenance projects, washing your car, doing errands or laundry, doing your taxes … just about anything where doing it yourself isn’t cost-effective.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Nuts and Bolts #2

Nuts and bolts is the title I use for posts that have highly varied content. So here goes:

I am writing from Timmins which is in Northeastern Ontario. Last night, on my way here, I was amused to read the Bearskin Airlines airplane prospectus which described every port of call on their trajectory as "gateway to the north" "entry to the north" "portal to the north". They all seem to be competing for that tag line. Which one is the actual gateway to the north? All of them, I suspect, for various reasons. It's wonderful to be able to speak French everywhere I go, or franglais which is my favourite language, and, it seems, favourite for Timmins francophones as well.

I read a couple of interesting blog entries today which I invite you to visit.

1) www.zenhabits.net "Success isn't a competition" Leo, the author of this blog, lives in Guam (I think, I'll need to double check that) but far away from the gateway to the north, anyhow. I like his unpretentious look at stress reduction. He has a lot of good material on the blog. Go take a peek

2) www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/

This is Tim Ferriss' blog, author of the bestseller "The Four Hour Workweek"
Now his book and his blog won't appeal to everyone. But if you are self-employed, or an entrepreneur, I highly recommend you read one of his latest posts called "Harnessing Entrepreneurial Manic-Depression: Making the Rollercoaster Work for You"
As someone who has been self employed for the past decade, I could completely relate to this post and agree with all of it.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Life without coffee...

Doctor: "I have some great news for you!"

Me: "ok, wonderful, what's the diagnosis then?"

Doctor: "Oh it's a very benign problem that can easily be solved with one minor change to your diet"

Me: "Great, I'm a healthy eater so no problemo. Tell me what to do"

Doctor: "No caffeine, ever. No coffee, no tea, no diet coke, no pepsi, no dark chocolate, no green tea, no nasal decongestants or cough syrups. That's it. You'll be right as rain."

Me: "WHAT? But that's terrible! Can I have decaf? Please tell me I can at least drink decaf?

Doctor: (clearly realising she has an addict on her hands): "Yeah, sure, decaf is fine but only one a day. It still has trace amount of caffeine in it you know."

So there you go, that day last week marked the end of my long love affair with coffee. Luckily I don't eat much chocolate so that's not so bad. But coffee... the taste, the aroma, the anticipation when I hear the cappucino maker frothing... (I once worked in a coffee shop for a whole summer and lived on lattes and leftover muffins. I was one wired barrista).

What has been interesting about this has been to note my friends and acquaintances' reactions. Coincidentally, most of them were clutching a disposable cup of coffee while I talked to them about it. All of them looked horrified, as though I had told them about a terrible diagnosis I had just received. "Oh my goodness, that's awful! Poor you!" One joked "Sorry, we can't be friends anymore!

Then, three days of headaches, fatigue and basically thinking about coffee all the time.

Phew.

Now that I am on the other side, I realise that when I get up in the morning, I can in fact engage in conversation with my children right away and don't have to shove them out of the way to make a beeline for the coffee pot.

Interesting.

I am not suggesting that any of you coffee drinkers out there should quit, but I was a bit shocked to observe how strong the withdrawal symptoms were for someone who is a 2 cups a day gal.

I am most interested in the fact that I can no longer rely on caffeine to keep me going if I am tired during the day. (Bad night's sleep? no problem, I'll just have a cup of coffee at lunch). So interestingly, no being able to drink coffee means I have to have even better self care in general. And when I'm tired, my choices are power nap or brisk walk outside instead of sitting at my computer with one more cup of joe.

See you later coffee!