Compassion Fatigue Solutions

My 9 year old son: "this morning, at my sleepover at Z's house, I woke up at 6am, but I knew I had to let him sleep in, so I lay there until 740am when he woke up".
Me: "wow, that's a long time to lie there. What did you do with all that time?"
My son: "Oh, it was totally fine, I just thought about lots of stuff"
Me: "Oh yeah? Like what - What you are going to do when you grow up? Things that worry you? (ever the shrink...)
My son: "Nah, I thought about all the great moves I could do next time I play on my wii hockey game. Time just flew by!"
Ah, gender differences...

Yesterday, I had a chance to enjoy several peaceful hours doing two of my favourite things: cooking meals for the week while listening to CBC radio's Eleanor Wachtel (this time, I took in an interview Zadie Smith, the author of White Teeth and a very bright and reflective person. Thoroughly enjoyable). Wachtel is a truly gifted interviewer and it is always a treat to listen to her show. These two activities are very restorative practices for me - going into another person's universe for a while (in this case, the authors she interviews), chopping vegetables for the meals of the week and most importantly, doing all of this alone and in silence. For me, a perfect restorative day would start with making bread, I would then go for a long run, come home and make soup and then while the soup is cooking and the bread is baking, lie on the couch and read the entire Saturday newspaper from cover to cover. Ah..., I feel relaxed just thinking about it.

You notice that in my scenario there are no kids, no partner, no friends calling on me. That does not mean that I don't love them and cherish my time with them, but there are times when I need to be completely alone to recharge my batteries.

The work that we do requires us to be 'on' all the time, for our clients, our colleagues and the families we work with. In fact, some of us are so used to being 'on' that we have difficulty switching off and may spend the evening avoiding silence and solitude because we have lost the art of slowing down. Some helpers are never alone because they are so overcommitted in their personal and professional lives that others have access to them 24/7. Some other helpers are so fried that they have no energy left to talk and socialise with others on weekends and evenings - ever - and this can end up feeling lonely and depressing.

In addition, a lot of helpers tell me that they feel very guilty about wanting to spend some time on their own and have no idea where to begin.

My example above (cooking, podcast etc.) may not be your idea of a good time, so I would like to invite you to think about your own restorative practices. What do you enjoy doing to recharge and reconnect with yourself? How do you carve out the time among all your family and work responsibilities?

Photo from: www.flickr.com/photos/mharvey75/374461385